schema

• I have successfully arrived on Vancouver Island! Flying was excellently uneventful. Cousin the Elder drove me to my grandparents' place; tomorrow I'm being switched over to my aunt and uncle's place, where my sister, Cousin the Elder, and Cousin the Younger will also be. Cousin the Middler, tragically, will not be here until after I've left.
• The power came back on sometime during Wednesday night, and lo, there was water! and the dishes did sparkle, and would not be engulfed in mold. The false prophecy was revealed, and the people didst cleanse themselves in running water, and don their dry, fresh-smelling raiments.
• Newly enwheelchaired grandpa saying "Vroom! vroom!"
• I stumbled upon the PDF of Metaprogramming Ruby and started reading. I understand all the concepts just fine, but I still have no ability to actually write nontrivial working code, so I'm trying RubyMonk again in conjunction with some other reading. I have stuck this in HabitRPG, here's hoping I end up with usable skills this time.¹
• One particular brainweasel is rearing its head. I am actually not particularly good at teaching myself things. (you may be inclined to assert that this is untrue. I am very good at absorbing ambient facts and will seek them by the pound, but I am very rarely successful at developing skills and depth-knowledge on my own.) I often feel like struggling with self-teaching makes me a terrible person, or I must be unmotivated or I'd learn the thing I want to.²
• I think people who are good at self-teaching have had more practice with being taught. I have had nothing taught to me in an organized way since I was 14. I don't know how to continually work on something that challenges me. My frustration tolerance is almost nonexistent. I have rarely been pushed in healthy ways - been pushed to do something I can do that stretches me. I've mostly been pushed off of cliffs - pushed to do things I know I can't do, without help, or else. The latter is not actually that great for developing one's capabilities. Highly successful method for developing panic disorder though!
• I have stayed up entirely too late. Whoops. Now I sleep.

<sub>1. context I forgot: I've tried to learn various programming languages several times with a variety of approaches.
2. Most brainweasels of this ilk manifest as me having extended angry arguments in my head. It's not exactly a thing I believe, but a broken belief that I'm dignifying with way too much brainspace.</sub>